Please search engine promotion/optimisation companies stop sending emails promising to get me on the first page of Google. Though your correspondence (well, spam) has an attention grabbing subject (”First Page of Google” being my favourite) there are several flaws in the way you are approaching me for new business.

1. I am on the first page of Google

It’s true, if I type in certain key words/phrases my site is listed on the first page of Google.

2. Is your business model limited to 10 clients per key word/phrase?

You have 10 clients, all of which are identical in terms of sector/business categroy and then prospective client number 11 asks for your services. Do you turn them away because 10 of your existing clients are already on the first page of Google?

3. Why can’t I find you on Google?

For some reason I can’t find your site, if you can put me on the first page of Google then why can’t you do the same for yourself? I have the email addresses of several other SEO companies that might be able to help…

4. Examples of work and client testimonials

There seems to be a distinct lack of case studies or believable testimonials on your site and the examples of “on first page of Google for (insert obscure term here)” seem to have dropped off the first page Google.

5. Your XHTML and CSS skills are non-existant

I thought that clean, well structured, W3C compliant table-less designs were standard these days? Maybe search engines love pages with tables nested within tables, that have been nested within tables. If this is not the case and you need a hand then feel free to drop me an email.

Update: If you search for “First page on Google” on Google and search pages from the UK, you’ll find this rant at the bottom of the first page. Maybe I should get into SEO